Best Summer Ever . . . the Kwik E Mart
My friend Lane will come up to me at work on occasion, and say in a fake stoner drawl, "Dude, this is going to be the best summer ever!" and then shrug up his shoulders and give a slow motion thumbs up. This is, I hope obviously, a reference to every other teen comedy about a group of boyhood friends who spend one last summer before some significant life changing event, i.e going to college, getting married, etc.

Anyway, I've decided to adapt that as my motto for this summer. Summer's for me are always like sleeping - I look forwards to it for a long time, but by the time I realize it's happened it seems to be already over, and I say "but wait, I want more." This summer, I am determined to enjoy every last bit that I can.

One interesting thing that has happened this summer is I have been able to visit a fictional location from one of my favorite television shows. In an unprecedented and history - and I think brilliant - publicity campaign for the Simpsons Movie, twelve 7-11's "in the world" are being converted into Kwik E Marts for the month of July. One of them is located on 42nd, between 8th and 9th, which is right where I get dropped off on my morning commute.

The 7-11 sign is replaced by a Kwik E Mart sign. Above the ATM is a sign that reads "Bank of Springfield." Inside, various life size cut outs of the Simpsons characters are spread throughout. There are also some silly adverts, like "Buy Three for the price of Three." In one slightly disturbing detail, the employees wear Kwik E Mart uniforms. I find this a little weird, and slightly uncomfortable, as all of the employees in real life are Indian, like Apu. Now Apu, in the show, is a sympathetic, three dimensional and well written character. But he is still a stereotype. These employees are also three dimensional . . . well, people. The fact that they have to dress up like a character who is stereotyping them is a little odd. Maybe offensive? I don't know. I would feel worse if Apu in the show was more offensive, but he really isn't.

Onwards . . . what I find really exciting is that the Kwik E Mart serves actual Squishees, like in the TV show. They also sell Krusty O's and Buzz Cola. And what I think is mind blowing, is they sell large glazed doughnuts, topped with pink frosting and multi-colored sprinkles, just like the ones Homer eats, and just like the ones used in all the Simpson Movie advertisements. I bought two of them this morning. One for me, the other for Rosie. They were quite tasty, and I may get one every morning. I have to be careful though, I just started dating again and I don't . . . well anyway . . .

After work Anthony wanted to go there with me. We just hung around, thought about buying a Squishee, but decided not to as we were broke and because the idea of drinking that much ice and sugar and . . . whatever other laboratory concocted substance they put in those things . . . made us cringe. And they were out of doughnuts and Krusty O's.

It was cool, though. I mean, I'm hanging out a a Kwik E Mart. Yeah, it's justa publicity campaign, but it's a damn fun one. Never in - how long has that show been running? - thirteen years did I think that was possible. A real live Kwik E Mart. And live action Transformers. Next thing you know Brody will be sleeping in the roof of a small red house.

Simpsons. Transformers. Simpsons. Transformers.

I think my brain is going to explode.